i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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