yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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