Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
