The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
