OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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