it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
