it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
