Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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