ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
