Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
