Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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