Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize