i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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