How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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