this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
