So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize