I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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