I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
