toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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