I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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