bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
