I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
