I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
