wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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