There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
