Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
i think my cat just said my name.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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