i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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