I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
