This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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