when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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