Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
last night I used snow as a chaser
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