i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
