You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
as a side note pls kill me
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
