Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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