He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
