Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
