if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
