Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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