you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
