I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
