I accidentally burped into my bong.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
