Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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