I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
