I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize