he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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