he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
