VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
