in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
