you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
