yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
