Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
