He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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