Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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