The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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