You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
