she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
