I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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