I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It's Friday. Sex?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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