haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
