he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
