You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
