so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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