My friends, they love my intelligence
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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