i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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