38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Your cock deserves a montage
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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