Duck Duck Cougar?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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