i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
