Whod you bang
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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