wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize